An Open Letter to givers

While we are all called to be charitable, there are some people who have what I like to think of as a giver’s heart. What does this mean? By default, they are givers. This is because they are filled with the love of God, which provokes the passion of God to manifest through them. And you will find these people spread out all over the world helping others, all the while ignoring their own needs. They are, by design, selfless. And while this is great, we have to remember that we can only help others if we are mentally, physically and spiritually healthy. What does this mean? It’s simple. We have the responsibility of taking care of ourselves first and foremost.


I write this appeal to the giver. Make sure that you are:

  1. Getting all the rest that you need.

  2. Praying daily.

  3. Studying the Word of God daily.

  4. Putting on the full armor of God daily.

  5. Exercising daily.

  6. Eating healthy.

  7. Getting therapy.

  8. Setting boundaries.

  9. Putting your phone on silent whenever you need to.

  10. Taking vacations.

  11. Saying no when the situation calls for it or when you need to rest.

  12. Getting regular checkups.


I created this list because givers are known to neglect themselves. We don’t necessarily do this intentionally; it’s not self-hatred that drives a giver to ignore his or her own needs. The problem with givers is that our giving can be relatively therapeutic for us, and while it is therapeutic, it doesn’t fix the areas that we have neglected. All the same, we oftentimes plan to take better care of ourselves, but we neglect to do so because we keep telling ourselves that we’ll go to the doctor later, we’ll change our diet later, we’ll fast next month or we’ll go ahead and do what this person wants us to do one more time. This eventually takes a toll on our mental health. Consequently, some of the most bitter people in the world are givers who’ve neglected their own needs. And one day when they found themselves in need of a helping hand, an encouraging word or something as simple as a hug, they found themselves alone.


I’m not saying to stop being a giver! I’m simply saying that in the midst of it all, do not forget about YOU! Understand that the giver’s heart is the very heart of God manifesting itself in a person, so being a giver is a good thing! Nevertheless, even Jesus withdrew Himself to pray! We have to remember this, and as a giver, we have to establish boundaries, not just for others, but for ourselves. So give! But again, don’t break your own heart by trying to out-give God!